Saturday, December 8, 2012

December 8, 2012

Greetings from my bedside. My oh so soft bed is not so soft today. But I am surrounded by love- Splode the chichi, Nebo the my rescue kitty, and Lil Butt Maddy's new baby. All faithful and loyal laying at my feet.

Not sure where I should start, at the chemo or the pain I am in now and why I am writing from my bed. Guess I will back up, but spare you all gory and boring details.

The meeting with my surgeon was good. No more surgery! He said he took enough (5 cm by 4 cm! ). Where they are to take out a centimeter around the tumor, mine was cancerous. So he had to go a centimeter beyond that. Within that margin there was a trace a cancer. They can only hope that chemo will kill it. That is where HOPE comes into play in all your cancer lingo and slogans. I asked why we would not do a PET or CAT scan if they feel that cancer cells are floating throughout my body and they said that they are so microscopic they would have to first attach themselves to something and multiply to be seen. There again it is only HOPE it doesn't happen. They can only apply a chemo/ radiation regime that has worked for others in the past, and again HOPE. 

Chemo lasted from 11 am until about 5 before all was said and done. After they checked my blood count, etc, they gave me nausea meds through the PICC line then started the first bag of chemo.  I am weakling, I got sick. They had to give me Adovan so basically I slept through the 2nd bag. A big thank you to Amy who sat there and watched me sleep in phase 2. But she did her job and made me laugh and tried to make me forget why I was there in phase I. (loves Amy!)

They warned me I really will not feel the effects unitl days 3 or 4 all the way through days 11 or so. The day you receive chemo is day zero. I am now day 3. No nausea, but I have developed a rash on my thigh, normal, but Benedryl is not cutting it.  However so far the toughest part is the drug they give you the day after. It is a drug that makes your bone marrow produce platelets.  They warned it would hurt, and they are not kidding. It worse than day I have suffered with my fibromyalgia. Dr. Reddy said not to be a hero and take my Hydrocodone, do I have taken 3 doses today, that's how bad it is. I cannot sit still. You can literally feel it moving in your bones and you feel them twinge.  It is freakish, it makes me want to punch the area when I feel a twinge.  One lady told me to take a long hot soak my whole body. That would be nice but I have this great PICC line that I can't get wet, so I put minimal water in the tub (believe me I will not be the cause of the PICC line if it fails!)

Today I had my class with Texas Tech. They have a group they are studying of women surviving Breast Cancer. They were able to get me in and I am so happy to be apart of something so huge. They are teaching women the 6 stages of change when faced with a diagnoses of Breast Cancer.  Our group is the first study of its kind to launch the start of national and international seminars funded by Texas Tech. It was so worth my time with the women I met today. Each were in a different phase of treatment from someone who had her second surgery two weeks ago with 32 lymph nodes removed up to a 19 year survivorI learned a lot about myself and why I feeling the way I was feeling and trying to cope with this all. Just like the various stages of love and various stages of grief there are various stages of change and to understand this helps us deal better in all situations.

I have an appointment on Wednesday, it is just for Dr. Reddy to see how I have adjusted to chemo, check for rashes, and then schedule my next round which should be just before or just after Christmas. Oh yea! Lucky me! Guess I will be eating lots of mashed potatoes for Christmas!

Love to you all. Miss all my family and friends, please stay well. Send emails and pics to keep in your loop please, I miss you all so much!

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